Friday, September 15, 2006

What Mommy doesn't know won't hurt her

I arrived at J's preschool a little earlier than usual today and was excited to see the kids on the playground - a chance to surreptitiously observe her in her new element! I was all smiles and parental adoration as I watched her run with true toddler abandon, the late morning sun glinting off her silky highlights, and a song in her heart so joyous it was almost audible from the carpool lane. The girl is obsessed with being outside and "playground" is her newest constant refrain - I try to indulge her passion for slides, swings and jungle gyms whenever I can in hopes that she'll always be a mover and a shaker - but since she started school most days have been too hot or too wet - or the playground too infested with red ants - to allow for much free outdoor play.

ANYway... I watch her gambol over to what I would soon learn was a highly coveted piece of playground equipment, currently in use by one of the boys in her class. I saw a discussion ensue, one which I can only assume was a very measured, diplomatic negotiation of when it might be J's turn to take a climb. (I should interject here that, knowing her sassafras nature as I do, I have no doubt my sweet little ambassador was using her words to facilitate the negotiation - words like "mine!" "no!" and "get down!") Interjection notwithstanding, I'm quite sure she didn't do anything to warrant the large foot planted firmly in her chest that sent her stumbling backwards. I'm also sure she was crying, as evidenced by the lightning quick speed with which our villian abandoned his perch and took off in the opposite direction.

I did manage to suppress my initial mama lion urge to throw my car in park and rush over to regulate, mainly because I realized this would be a good oppportunity to see how a) J handles things like this when Mommy isn't around, and b) how her teacher would address the situation. J seemed to bounce back nicely (and didn't run to tattle, but is she even old enough to do that yet?); I was a little put out by the fact that Mrs. B wasn't aware of what happened and didn't appear to try to comfort J when the other teacher brought it to her attention. (I take that back, she did spend a few seconds picking mulch out of J's hair and could have been simultaneously doling out some comforting wisdom to which I wasn't privy.) But I also realize she is responsible for six kids and coddling isn't in her job description. The offender was made to apologize to J, although when Mrs. B put her in the car a few minutes later it was clear she had no real idea what he was apologizing for... so I told her. Is that wrong? I feel a little like I tattled, though I tried to take the middle ground when telling her what I witnessed and conceded that J probably wasn't offering him chocolate chip cookies right before he kicked her. But we have been having trouble lately with J swatting at us when things don't go her way and I'm working very hard to teach her that hitting is never okay - "I don't hit you, you don't hit me," - but if there are no consequences when other people hit/kick her how can she be made to understand that?

I know, I know. This is the first in a long line of less than pleasant peer interactions, and this is how she learns to deal with people, good and bad, but she's my BABY. I really think I did a good job of not losing my shit over it, but it was not easy to watch.

To her credit, though, J has mentioned nary a word about it since we've been home. But we're off to my parents' house for dinner tonight, so I'm sure she'll string together something along the lines of "Luke kick Jane, Mrs. B no care," to let them know what a bang-up job Mommy does at choosing preschools.

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About Me

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Southeastern, United States
34-year-old freelance writer/mommy of one, married to S who loves his work but is gone too much